Whats it Like

That's all I want to know

Jagged Edge Videos | Music Video Codes

Had to find this song because it pretty much sums up the way I feel.
Everyday I feel old as dirt and lonely. I'm young, and with being young I'm supposed to be enjoying the single life right? Wrong!! I'm miserable. I mean have tons a good friends that I can actually talk to and they are there for me, but I still feel that void telling me that I need more that I need that companionship; that bond with that special one. It really bothers me from day to day. I catch myself praying to God for hours, all during the day for him to help me get through this time in my life with, not just wanting to be in love and be loved back, but life period and all the obstacles associated with living and being human. I guess I'm going to have to continue to be patient and wait for his blessing. I just had to get this out.



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Now playing: Melanie Fiona - You Stop My Heart
via FoxyTunes

Giving Up

Don't you just feel like giving up sometimes
Giving up on everything like
Long term and short term goals
love and relationships
just everything
It seems like no matter how hard I try I can't seem to get over the hump.
and I mean in everything
The feeling of being unsuccessful when you've dedicated so much time and effort and you seem to be getting no results at all.
no results at all
What am I doing this for?
I'm striving so hard for everything and nothing seems to be looking up. Nothing at all and right now it seems like I'm doing all this for nothing.
Yeah the encouragement of it will all work is what they say.
But when.
God says be patient but I think I've been patient for way to long.
My heart is so overwhelmed with the feeling of working for nothing and wanting to have something to be proud of yourself for but that one time you do everything seems to crashing down and a sour whip cream pie is thrown in my face.
and you can't like it off or It'll make you sick.
so you take a shower to wash off all the filth
and embarrassment and shame and longing for change.
and the guy you want ignores you and he could care less and he blows you off.

I know I'm being very repetitious, but I cant help the shamefulness and discouragement I get when I actually put an huge effort. Scratch that I dedicate whole days and sleep and I love to sleep, to certain things with no results. I cant help the feeling of wanting to give up. Input and no output. I'm doing it all for nothing.

UGH I just want to give up.