Big Ben

Friendships come and go.
But this one has lasted almost a decade.
This guy has meant more to me than anything in the world.(not including my family and my BFF and close girlfriends)
We are so alike yet different.

What started off as a high school fling
turned into like
that transformed into love
well love on my end.....
first love
first lover


Ben Big
I've never met another person
in this whole world
who has liked almost everything that I've liked
who hated the things Ive hated.

At this point in my life
I'm feeling the need
the need for companionship
and its painful because
he is the only guy that completes me.
Never had I met a guy who matches my sense of humor
who matches my goofiness
who understands me as he does
we can be on the phone for hours
days and always have stuff to talk about.
always

and what sucks for me is
in every guy I meet
in every guy I assume to pursue
in every guy I attempt to date
I seem to look for all the characteristics
all the similarities that he has

and now that I reflect on how lonely I am
I miss him even more
I feel he completes me
but there is a barrier
he has the "one" that he feels was made for him
which is fine

I am totally fine with that because
I feel God has blessed me
and has put him in my life for a reason
I feel he is my personal blessing
and as long as one of us is happy
thats all I can ask for.
and as long as he is happy
I am happy
and everyday I thank God
I thanks God for allowing him to be apart of my life
both directly and indirectly and
I'm dreading the day that I won't be able to talk to him anymore
he plays an important role in who I am today.

I'm not waiting for him
because what we "had" was long ago
he knows if he wanted us to be together
that it could happen
I want to date other people
I want to find something different
but it seems no other guy understands me as he does

And it really sucks for the next guy
even though it shouldn't

the last guy was completely different from him
in so many ways
and when I thought I was close to change
he hurt my feelings
so I'm back to square 1


Through all the ups and downs we have
we can never stay mad upset or angry with each other
we can talk to each other about any and everything
how many people that you were so close to in your life
who you can say youve had a 10 year relationship with
that even though this person crushed your heart and soul
that you can forgive forget and move on.

I never met another person that
complements me the way he does
everyday I pray for a better tomorrow
when I will find that one
that ONE that was made just for me

Someone who complements me
complements me the same way he does
not exactly in the same way
but in a way that makes me feel complete.

I know I have to be patient
and wait for my newer blessing
that he is waiting for the opportune time to give to me

anyway
I just wanted to say I love you friend.
thanks for being apart of my life.



snicker with no nuts.......